Monday, April 25, 2011

Dating Challenged

I stink at dating – always have.  I sputter.  I hyperventilate.  I fail miserably every time.
I blame a pathetically underdeveloped gene that got little use before I married in my early twenties, then atrophied, gathering dust and rust, until I became single again in my fifties.
 I decided to use this defect to my advantage when I needed to do some investigative reporting a few years back.  While on a newspaper writing assignment on Boomer-aged dating, I sacrificed my dignity and my vanity for the sake of the story (and I got several).

Thank goodness, HoneyBunch saved me from all this when we married.  (He comes up with the best dates.)
I’ve decided I will “show you mine if you show me yours.”  I will swap dating horror stories with you, but you have to promise to play along.
The trick here is to tell about your worst date in 25 words or less.  You must keep it clean and you cannot name names. Our little contest will run only this week and before my next blogger posting.  
Me first: 
The facts:  My mom fixed me up.  He spent the evening licking his lips and leering at my chest.  I never let her forget it.  (Count them: 25 words)
I once dated six men, all at one time.  It was a Speed Date for 50-year-olds.  Let’s just say, some people don’t improve with age. (Twenty-five again.  Yeeha!)
These are two of my horror stories, one from each end of my life.
Your turn. 


  1. Shakespeare at University Theater. Me--black dress and heels. My date--cowboy hat and Wranglers. And Copenhagen. And a tiny cup to spit in.

  2. At A&M, dates last from Yell Practice through the game, and then dinner after. Games entail passionate smooches with each touchdown. Now think--ONION RINGS.

  3. I should have called this one Dating Quagmire. I never enjoyed dating as much as I have with HoneyBunch. Even now married for four years, he comes up with fun stuff for us to do.

  4. It wasn't even a date! At the airport a business traveler sat by me at the bar. We talked a bit and discovered we were going to the same place. When we arrived, he was offended I wouldn't go with him to his hotel.

  5. It was a blind date. He didn't know how to laugh out loud. Then we got rear-ended on the way home. He's still single.

  6. He showed up wearing a ponytail. My parents wouldn't let him in the house. He told me is dad wanted a promotion from my dad.

  7. Don't remember his name but he drove a Mercedes. He thought it covered for his shortcomings and money compensated for his sad life. It didn't.

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