Monday, August 8, 2011

How to Choose a Date in Five Easy Steps

(I figured with three marriages under my belt, I have some expertise, so gather round my children.)
Rule # 1:  Never date a man with better hair or a better chest than you. (Enough said, this needs no further explanation.)
Rule # 2: You can always judge a man by how respectfully and lovingly he treats his mama (better yet, check out how he treats his ex-wife or ex-girlfriends). 
Rule # 3: Date within a ten-year range of your real age (yes, the one on your birth certificate) instead of using the old rule: dividing your age by half and subtracting and adding that number onto your present age. It just doesn’t make sense; the span is too large.
If you’re thirty, the old rule okays dating anyone between 15 – 45 years old.  Besides ending up in jail and on national news, studies have proven that the brain of the middle-aged male and a male teenager function similarly. Do you want a date or to babysit?
It gets even more disparate if you are a 60 year old.  The range then spans 30-90 year olds.  Really?  Come on.

I like my math formula better.  Give or take ten years from your real age and date within that age group.

Rule # 4:  Are you seeing a pattern here?  Start off with expectations.  Make a list.  Decide what you must have in a date partner. Okay, so he isn’t as tall or as handsome as you wanted, but he is kind and attentive; it is not okay when he treats his cat/his car better than he treats (his or your) children.

Rule #5:  On a more serious note, nurture those same traits in yourself that you expect in others – a sense of humor, respectful to others, mature, kind, attentive, etc. In a day and age where everyone considers intimacy a random act, be the one who doesn’t because you have more to offer and you have self-respect. Being “old-fashioned” never goes out of style.  Never settle for less than you are worth.

Now get out there and date.


  1. In defense of people who have to get up and go to the bathroom too often...I'm one of those...and it's bad enough to BE one of those people without having others JUDGE you for being one of those people. I've been to numerous doctors, but my stomach, still, develops its own mind when I'm sitting in an audience. I can either get up and go to the bathroom...or embarrass everyone around me. Remember, Raquel, church-going folks are admonished not to be too judgmental. Just sayin. I guess that's one more reason I don't go to church anymore!

  2. What about 12 years?