Skip to main content

Whiney Babies

I recently read a book on body language, ingesting enough info to make me a dangerous armchair expert.

What impressed me more than the ability to tell if someone is lying or flirting with me (or both at the same time) was how attitude or posture affects the brain.
For instance, if you dread doing something, admit it out loud but then counter it with an affirmation that you are going to do it anyway. Do it with a smile. These simple actions trigger measureable chemical and electrical impulses in your brain that actually help you get through the cumbersome task.
Gloomy and depressed? Smile.  Hate your job? Straighten your shoulders, take a deep breath, and trudge forward.  The mere affectation of a positive attitude and the brain responds in kind.
The reverse is also true.  If you dread a task, whine about it. Continuously. Keep on frowning. Feeling unloved? Hunch your shoulders, make a hangdog face, think sad thoughts.  Before long, you’ll be watching The Remains of the Day or reading an Oprah Book Club novel.
I admire folks who face huge obstacles with positive attitudes. They make the best of a situation, or they know when to walk away and start over.  They don’t see the glass as half empty because they don’t have time for clichés. 
Positive people face their struggles as challenges; they don’t respond constantly whining. They persist. There is a time and a place for an occasional pity party.  Grief is inevitable in one’s lifetime, but so are recovery and healing and joy. They soldier on and shoulder on.
I have no patience with whiners.  I’m mean like that. Okay, life sucks.  Love sucks.  The job sucks. Instead of acting the victim and wallowing in your vortex of gloom, seek a solution and try smiling. 

Comments

  1. good read-good advice- good to know

    ReplyDelete
  2. I might have to quibble with you about The Remains of the Day...the scene where Emma Thompson istrying to wrest the book away from Anthony Hopkins, and he's looking at the top of her head with such pure, absolute love....ah. One of my favorite moments on screen!

    ReplyDelete

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Dating Challenged

I stink at dating – always have.I sputter.I hyperventilate.I fail miserably every time. I blame a pathetically underdeveloped gene that got little use before I married in my early twenties, then atrophied, gathering dust and rust, until I became single again in my fifties. I decided to use this defect to my advantage when I needed to do some investigative reporting a few years back.While on a newspaper writing assignment on Boomer-aged dating, I sacrificed my dignity and my vanity for the sake of the story (and I got several).

Thank goodness, HoneyBunch saved me from all this when we married.  (He comes up with the best dates.) I’ve decided I will “show you mine if you show me yours.”I will swap dating horror stories with you, but you have to promise to play along. The trick here is to tell about your worst date in 25 words or less.You must keep it clean and you cannot name names. Our little contest will run only this week and before my next blogger posting. Me first: The facts:My mom f…

Happy Breastday to Me!

I gave myself a very special birthday present this year – I had surgery. Before you think it was to increase, decrease, or “lift” something, let me tell you it was not cosmetic (though I could probably use a few nips and tucks at my age; the infinite number of creams I buy OTC are not working their promised magic). About four or five months ago, I discovered a hard lump about the size of a large marble in my left armpit.  I had been feeling small pangs of pain in my left chest for several months, but I figured it was just my turn to dance with heart disease.  Everyone in my immediate family is diabetic and suffers from strokes or heart attacks, so I thought – here we go; my turn. I was going to tell my internist about the pangs during my next visit, so imagine my surprise when I discovered the lump. The Drama Queen in me immediately manifested herself – cancer, I thought.  I have cancer. I searched some more and found that the texture on the left side of my left breast felt different t…

Grandma’s Dining Table

Twenty five years ago my first husband and I bought a new home with four bedrooms and three baths, but my favorite part of the house was the enormous room you walked into from the front door. It had no dividing wall but the design was to use half of it as a formal living and the other half as a formal dining. From the beginning I decided to make it into one huge dining room that would catch the eye when everyone walked in through the front door of my home.   My three children were very young, but I envisioned them grown and married. We counted five at the time, but one day we would grow to eight, maybe more if we factored in grandchildren, so I bought a table that sat a family of twelve.  My husband thought it silly to look that far ahead and convinced me to buy only ten chairs. The room looked magnificent – the long, majestic table, the ten chairs, the buffet, a couple of real ficus, and a few other nice pieces of furniture – I was pleased. The table lasted longer than the marriage, a…