I gave myself a very special birthday present this year – I had
surgery. Before you think it was to increase, decrease, or “lift” something,
let me tell you it was not cosmetic (though I could probably use a few nips and
tucks at my age; the infinite number of creams I buy OTC are not working their
promised magic).
About four or five months ago, I discovered a hard lump about
the size of a large marble in my left armpit.
I had been feeling small pangs of pain in my left chest for several
months, but I figured it was just my turn to dance with heart disease. Everyone in my immediate family is diabetic
and suffers from strokes or heart attacks, so I thought – here we go; my turn. I
was going to tell my internist about the pangs during my next visit, so imagine
my surprise when I discovered the lump.
The Drama Queen in me immediately manifested herself – cancer,
I thought. I have cancer. I searched
some more and found that the texture on the left side of my left breast felt
different than its right side. I tested my
right breast and compared it to the “patch” and sure enough; I had an area
about the size of my palm that felt denser than the muscle around it.
This was when the coward in me wanted to pretend it didn’t exist.
What should I do? I wanted to ignore it and maybe it would heal itself; maybe it
would go away.
But I have things to do.
I had to find my courage and take care of me.
My gynecologist verified my findings and sent me to get
mammograms and a sonogram. They came
back “benign,” and I celebrated, but she persisted and referred me to a
surgeon.
SURGEON - Tell me that wouldn’t scare you too.
He explained that the lymph node was doing its job – reacting to
the mass nearby. He also explained why the mass itself didn’t not show up as a
malignancy. It wasn’t concentrated in one area; it wasn’t a lump. He agreed with the digital exams, but to be
absolutely, 100% sure, that it wasn’t malignant, I would need a biopsy.
I didn’t qualify for a needle biopsy because the surgical
needle is guided by a lump that can be seen; my mass would require a surgical
biopsy – an incision from which he could take a sample. While in there he would try and remove as
much of the mass as he could without making a bigger cut.
It was my decision, he said.
If I could live with the discomfort, I should be fine.
I have never lived in “shoulds.” I can only muster my courage
with “definites” and “absolutelys,” so I decided to go ahead with the surgery.
I spent my birthday preparing for the surgery the next
day. I turned down offers for dinners
and parties and get-togethers. I had to
get my game on. If all turned out well,
there would be more birthdays in my future.
The biopsy won’t be back until next week, but from the looks
of the tissue, the doctor is pretty optimistic it is a benign growth. The
incision is longer than he promised, and the pain is not any worse than the
discomfort I felt before the surgery.
I share this with you, dear reader, as a reminder to take care
of yourself. We must find the courage to
fight for our own health and well being.
Never “go gentle into that good night.”
I gave myself this present because I have a wonderful husband,
a beautiful, feisty family, and many more people to pester before I leave this
place. I beg you to find your courage
and take care of yourself as well or better than you take care of others.
Happy Breastday to me!
God loves you so much. He's an awesome God with a plan for your good. He's able to do immeasurably more than you can ask or even imagine. He is faithful. He's the Great Physician. He's our Provider. He loves to bless His children. No matter what the report says, He is in control and will never leave you. Blessings.
ReplyDeleteThank you.
DeleteI'm so glad the dr is optimistic! I am praying!!!!
ReplyDeleteThank you.
DeleteAs I told you before, I just know that the biopsy is going to show that everything is fine. i hate that you are having to go through this, though. Love you!
ReplyDeleteLove you back. Get your check ups. Please.
ReplyDeleteDamned scary stuff. I'll be hoping for the BEST test results.
ReplyDeleteThank you.
DeleteTests came back benign. God be praised. Thank you all for your prayers, but please make sure to care for your selves.
ReplyDelete