Okay, sisters, this is how it goes.
I think I may have invented a new genre and you are on the
cutting edge of it. It is going to require your cooperation. Can I trust you not to weenie out on me? You will be moving. You will be talking. You will be interacting with the print.
For lack of a better word, I have called this my karaoke
column. I played with the thought of
calling it kamikaze columnizing, but decided to just show you and you can help
me name this new invention later.
Okay, here we go.
Remember this will only work if you cooperate and participate. Ready?
All the affirmations are in BOLD LETTERS. Those are your parts. Participation is key.
Step one: turn to the
person closest to you and look that person straight in the eye. Once you catch his or her attention (it might
just be you in the mirror but that is okay), smile with confidence and say the
following words, loudly and proudly: I’M A BOOMER.
Step two (do not be afraid):
Stand up, look about the room, daring anyone to look at you. Shoulders back, deep breath, arms straight up
and out, and say the following, loudly and proudly: I’M A BOOMER AND PROUD OF
IT!
Good, good. You have
garnered attention now, sisters! Hang in there.
Remember, we lady boomers are the majority in this nation. We rule.
We’re hot. We got game (still).
Step three (the clincher): Still standing, throw your head
back, find the goddess in you. Run your
fingers through your hair, feel your beauty, shiver slightly, and let whoever
is in the room with you know who is the real boss. Let out a moan, a groan, a primitive yell,
and say the following, loudly and proudly, one more time: I’M BEAUTIFUL. I’M A BOOMER AND I AM PROUD OF IT! (If you want to add a few spontaneous
adjectives, hoots, primal yells, that is your business and it adds to the
effectiveness of this affirmation.)
Now that you have filled the room with awe and wonder, smile
wickedly at each and every person in the room, slowly sit down, smooth you
clothes primly, and go back to what you were doing prior to this affirmation.
Very cutting edge, don’t you think?
I will feel you positive energy via the airwaves. Our sisterly boomer moment will transcend
time and space. We will be one with the
universe, the force, the space-time continuum.
Now, before we end, wet your lips, do one of those breathless
thing we do that drive others crazy, and in a sultry voice, just to make sure
we have made our point, say it with me:
I AM A BOOMER AND PROUD OF IT.
hehehe love this. I'm not quite a boomer but I think I can find my inner-boomer with this exercise!
ReplyDeleteWrote this one ten years ago. I haven't changed much.
ReplyDelete