Monday, April 1, 2013

National Little White Lie Month

We start our month with April 1st – April Fools’ Day.  One little white lie and we get to play a joke (thus make a fool) of another person. There’s a spider in your hair.  Your zipper is open.  You have broccoli on your teeth. 
As humans we have an innate need to invent, imagine, and make excuses.  We guesstimate and stretch the world around us to fit and make sense of reality. Lying is one of the things we all have in common, regardless of ethnicity, culture, religious affiliation, or gender.  It might be “bad” to lie, but we find ourselves doing it anyway.
April 4th is Tell a Lie Day.  You get a free pass to tell one lie today.  Make it good; make it worth the free pass.  It will make you aware of how many times you tell a lie to yourself or to others.
April 6 is Plan Your Epitaph Day.  You actually have permission to embellish your life’s accomplishments.  You get to brag a little and live it up.  Some good may come of this.  You might actually strive to achieve some of the things you said and listed about yourself.  
April 12 is Big Wind Day.  I have no idea what the originators of this holiday meant by this, but it fits our month-long spree of prevarication.  Lie with gusto!  Bluster away and puff off a few whoppers.  Knit a yarn or two!
April 14 is Ex-Spouse Day.  Can this month get any better?  A day for superlatives and hyperboles!  This day makes me more grateful than any Hallmark card I’ve ever received. (Could that have been a “lie”?)
April 15 is not only IRS Tax Return Due Date, but it is also Rubber Eraser Day.  Ha!  Scritch, scritch, scritch.  We spent the first half of April preparing our IRS tax returns.  We estimated, invented, and plain old stretched the definitions and the numbers to fit the 1040 Form. All this “interpretation” to get our annual taxes explains why April is my choice for National Little White Lie Month.
April 17 is Blah, Blah, Blah Day.  By now we have gotten into the hang of fibbing. Let’s stretch our creativity.  Try telling an alliterative fib today.  My, that sheath makes you look slim and svelte.  Howdy, handsome; don’t you look hubba in that Herringbone suit.
April 18 is Newspaper Columnists Day.  Learn to spin a story from the best.  First, watch the TV anchors’ faces while they read their copy and practice making sympathetic frowny faces or pitiful pouts while you listen to tragedy and mayhem.  Next read the newspaper’s front page and the editorial page, and learn to emulate slanted prose and sophisticated shamelessness.
April 27 is Tell a Story Day.  Turn fibs into fiction.  Anecdotes into action and suspense.  Go all out and dance with your fantasy.  You might even try costumes.
Our month-long foray into fib world comes to a screeching halt on April 30th.  Today is National Honesty Day.  What?  We may no longer know how to tell the truth. 
Besides it is more work and less satisfying than fibbing.

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