He cried that first day for five solid hours, from the moment
his Mommy left the house until he tired himself out fifteen minutes before she
returned. I never told her because she
was having a difficult time separating herself from him. I didn’t want to upset
her more.
He didn’t exactly cry – he screeched and wailed. The neighbors probably thought I was
torturing the little three-month-old, but I spoke to him in a soft reassuring
voice and held him the whole time. He
missed his Mommy so much and felt abandoned; I was not going to reinforce that
by laying him down in his crib and letting him cry it out.
I told him then that he needed to trust me. I would feed him. I would change his diaper. I would love him so much that one day he
would love me back. We would have our
own private language and jokes, we would become best friends, we would miss
each other on weekends.
The rest of the week went a little better. He cried only half the time, but then we came
to a weekend and the following Monday we were back to square one. He and Mommy
had been together and here I was again – the mean, old Grandma. I came
thisclose to quitting, but if I did, Mommy either had to postpone her dream of
college or Baby J had to go to a daycare.
I made my son and
daughter-in-law a promise – to give them free babysitting at their home for one
whole year and I try to keep my promises.
Trust develops in baby steps. He tested me and I persisted. He
continued to wail, and I continued to hold him and love him. He was fed. His
diaper was changed. I loved him when he wasn’t very lovable.
The crying finally abated and one morning he met me at the
front door with a smile, anxious for our day of fun to begin.
Today he is a happy child.
He is cute and funny and well-grounded. He is curious but trusts only
his family – Mommy, Daddy, brothers, and Grandma. He is independent but also understands the
word “no.”
Our year is coming to an end.
Mommy is already planning next year and so am I. He likes to learn and needs
to be around other kids his age. The life I placed on hold is waiting for me
and I need to get back to it.
You have made some very special and precious memories. One day Mr. J. will read this. I am sure he will remember some of this. I know he will always remember and love you.
ReplyDeleteThank you, Lea.
ReplyDelete