What I Want for Christmas

My two front teeth are in great shape. Thank you (especially to my dentist and her team), so what do I really want for Christmas?

Everyone and everything dear to my hearth and home are doing well, so what could I possibly want or need?

Well, for starters, I would like a firmer and more youthful body, one that does not wiggle when set in motion.  It would be wonderful to be the envy of all the ladies in my Cardio Dance class when I walk in dressed in my skin tight workout clothes and my bust, belly, and butt amaze everyone.  A thinner waist would also be appreciated.  Thank you in advance.

Two, I would like to win the lottery, not the little one of just a couple of million dollars but the big honker one with the dozens of zeroes behind it.  I realize I actually have to buy a ticket, so I would like to be the envy of all when they interview me for the six o’clock news (I would insist on a long shot so I can show off my gorgeous new firm body) and I mention that I bought ONE ticket on the fly from the convenience store down the street the ONE time I stopped to buy a bag of Cheetos.  Who knew?  Lucky me! Yay!

I know.  It must be wonderful to be me – both gorgeous and rich. 

Three, I will need a crew, staff, a posse, someone to look after me and my millions.  I would employ the usual – an accountant and a lawyer, but also household and a groundskeeper. Oh, and also someone to help me with my makeup and clothes.  A cook!  Oh glory, someone to cook for me and HoneyBunch.  I would never have to scramble another egg or throw together another casserole. Yay!  Double yay!

Christmas wishing is so much fun.  You search your soul for the very things that will make you happy and you ask for them, regardless the price or common sense. You make your demands known repeatedly to those around you (or you write it all down and send a letter off to Santa) and you eat tamales or Christmas Cookies waiting for the Big Day.

I’ve been “nice” all year, so I’ll see you on the 26^th.  That will be me on the six o’ clock news, showing off my good fortune.