Monday, July 14, 2014

Finding Sexy

Sometime this week, eight years ago, destiny brought HoneyBunch and me together. Back then I wrote a single woman’s column for a neighborhood newspaper, and to create material for it I subscribed to online dating sites, joined several singles groups, and even went speed dating once. After I quit writing LadyBoomer, I also quit all my memberships.  A few months later eHarmony offered me a three month free subscription in an effort to lure me back into the fold.
There are supposedly all these fish in the sea, right? I figured it couldn’t hurt to cast my line one more time. If I was going to do it, it was now or never.  I wasn’t getting any younger.
In three month’s time, very few nibbled, and I cast most of them back into the deep. Only three seemed “safe” – less likely to be perverts, serial killers, or gigolos, so I chatted with them on the eHarmony safe line.  
As the free deadline approached, I decided not to continue the subscription. I was in a good place in my life and it was full.  I was alone but not lonely, and I didn’t need to complicate it with more.
I said goodbye to a widower who was still in love with his dear, dead wife, and I deleted the guy who could not stop talking about how good looking he was. I doubt he even noticed I was gone. He was too busy flirting with his mirror.
The only one left seemed a really nice guy. He talked about his sons, his simple life out in the country, and how he loved to read and listen to music. Since his divorce several years prior, he had put aside his own needs to raise his two sons and see them through college. Now that they were almost on their own, he had decided it was time to see about his own life.   
I saw myself in him and wanted us to stay “just friends,” post eHarmony.    I was looking for tall, dark, and handsome. I was looking for sexy. My friend came from Czech and Polish roots – sturdy, fair, and when he dressed up, cute. He was reliable and nice and honest.  I figured I was safe around him.
Our friendship transferred over from the eHarmony chat line to our own private emails.  It evolved into once a week phone calls and the inevitable first date.  It became a fast developing friendship between two people who had a lot in common.
Somewhere in there my opinion about him changed into something I cannot explain, and it happened quickly. I do not have words to express what I suddenly felt for HoneyBunch.  Imagine my surprise when I found out I was in love but it was so much more than that.  I found romance and safety and respect and trust and kindness and . . . . I could go on and on.
I found in HoneyBunch what I didn’t even know I was looking for. There is no word for it.  The word love does not begin to explain what it is that I feel for this man. I found home.

Now that, ladies, is sexy. 

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