(To be sung to the melody of the 12 Days of Christmas. Good luck.)
1. The first must-do for Thanksgiving: buy a pair of sweatpants in one size larger.
2. The second must-do on Thanksgiving: run both parades on the TV even though no one will watch them.
3. The third must-do on Thanksgiving: watch all three NFL football games (or take a nap while they are on).
4. The fourth must-do for Thanksgiving: create four meals with the leftover turkey.
5. The fifth must-do: eat five servings of your favorite dish: stuffing, potatoes, pie, whatever.
6. The sixth must-do: eat six pork tamales to offset all that turkey.
7. The seventh must-do on Thanksgiving: watch seven holiday specials (parades and football games count also).
8. The eighth must-do: take 8 shots or 8 squirts of any or all of the following: booze (tequila), beer, wine, canned whip cream.
9. The ninth must-do of Thanksgiving: if on the ninth day, you still have leftovers in the fridge, throw them away, plastic container and all. Eww.
10. The tenth must-do: give $10.00 to your local food bank for each person living under your roof.
11. The eleventh must-do: say Happy Holidays to eleven family members or friends before the end of the day, especially those who live alone or live far away.
12. The twelfth must-do on Thanksgiving: learn how to say Thank you in twelve different languages and use them all today. Here’s a starter:
Shukran (Shoe-Krahn) - Arabic
Xie xie (Syeh-syeh) - Mandarin
Merci – French
Danke – German
Efharisto (ef-har-rih-stowe) – Greek
Mahalo – Hawaiian
Toda (Toh-dah) – Hebrew
Grazie – Italian
Arigato – Japanese
Obrigado – Portuguese
Gracias – Spanish
Asante (ah-sahn-the) - Swahili