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The Diaper Bag


Before my injured shoulder, I carried large purses.  I had everything in them that one would need in an emergency.  Rarely have we been somewhere when someone would not ask if I had ____ and I would whip it out of my purse and impress them with my super powers.
But because of my injured shoulder I cannot carry large, heavy purses anymore.  I have to limit myself to small bags that do not weigh very much.
I kept the other purses but I treat them like a carryon. I have a packed purse that I take with me and leave it in my car when I go someplace.  It has the stuff I used to carry with me everywhere in case of an emergency, but if anyone breaks into my car thinking the big purse has money or valuables, I hope they like stale gum, a toenail clipper, and a half-used chap stick.
 I also carry a small purse but it stays with me.  It has the usual necessities:  keys, wallet, cell phone.  The smaller purses are not big enough for all the things I have to carry but I have no choice.  Any larger and my shoulders rebel. 
Even then I cannot carry the little purses in my hands for long periods of time because my arms tire. Sometimes I need both hands for whatever I am doing, so I have resorted to what I call “the crossing guard” look.  I buy purses with long straps so I can pull the straps over my head and wear the strap across my chest. Not very fashionable but I have no choice. My bone health is more important than my fashion flair.
Here lately my husband has started to hand me stuff to put in my purse. He has handed me his keys, his cell phone, and his wallet.  If we go to a concert, he gives me his ticket, his program, and his reading glasses after he is through with them. I know from experience that these things feel uncomfortable in one’s pants pocket, but I finally asked him the other day if he thinks my purse is a diaper bag

When he answered no, I refused to take his things. He is a big boy and can get his own purse.  
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