I had a strict,
Hispanic, Roman Catholic upbringing. Family
came before anyone or anything. Discipline was doled out on a generous, per
diem basis, and the status quo was non-negotiable. It was more like static quo.
I loved
(and survived) my upbringing but I decided when I had children I would to do it
differently.
I was
still strict, Hispanic, and Roman Catholic, and no one or nothing came before
my three children, but I wanted to raise them with less external physical force
and more internal self discipline. They
kept me on my toes and I was constantly coming up with rules that were both
fair and just. Yes, I did spank them but not as much as they remember (and love
to tell the grandkids). There were a lot
of “time outs,” “go to your room,” and the good old standby – groundings.
I took
advantage of those many moments when we “liked” each other and were getting
along instead of butting heads, rolling eyes, and losing our tempers. I used
those moments to discuss, listen, compromise, and come to agreeable solutions.
At the
end of my tenure, I wanted them to be strong, independent, and responsible adults. I wanted to raise kind and compassionate human
beings, and I wanted to know that when I was no longer around, they could cope
with life on their own.
When we
all reached adulthood, I wanted to like them as much as I loved them.
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