Now that
I bought my fancy-schmancy, portable laptop, I need a cool-schmool place to
write my ever elusive novel that has yet to see the light of day.
I looked
up “places where famous and filthy-rich authors” have written their novels, and
it seems I have been doing it all wrong.
No wonder I have not been discovered by the powers that be. I was
chained to the house using my old, trusty PC.
It seems
famous authors hang out in cafés, coffee
shops, and bars, and when it comes to launching their first book, they hold
their debuts at these places, giving them well-deserved praise for boosting
their muse. The atmosphere at these cafés created memorable characters,
the strong aroma of Colombian brew at the coffee shops evoked passionate plots,
and imbibing hard liquor loosened the lexicon.
I am
looking for a cool schmool place to write my novel AND be seen by the adoring
public. I cannot afford much, so there
will be no renting of solitary hotel rooms, relaxing condos on the beach, or interminable
train rides with romantic vistas.
I need
some place free, like the new city library, but it is still being built. I would stake a spot at a bookstore but try
finding one of those these days, and it is not the same dragging a bean bag over
from the furniture department at Walmart every day and squatting by their book
and magazine section.
Someone
suggested I might as well stay home. All
my resources would be readily available at my house – all the coffee I want,
lots of pens and paper, free secured Wi-Fi.
I could lock myself in an empty bedroom, or sit out on the porch and
enjoy the garden, or loll in bed while I dream up people and plots.
Uh,
no. The key to this new plan is the need
to be seen by the adoring public while hard at work, besides I live in the
wilds, and I fear Zika and chiggers and UV rays. And the moment I loll in bed I fall asleep.
So I have
decided to write my best-seller-about-to-be-made-into-a-movie at the Whataburger
down the street. What better place to get
the juices flowing but at a local burger palace? Think about it. I can type away to the tantalizing smell of
burgers and onions and French fries frying.
I can loosen my fingers while also loosening my belt. I can study human nature while people decide meal
choices and whether or not to go with the Fancy Ketchup or the Spicy.
When my
first book and its movie rights are sold, I will hold my book launch at MY
Whataburger to thank them for their muse, and to thank my adoring public for
their loyalty, I will treat everyone to free fries, one small bag to each
person who shows up. The choice of
ketchup will be up to them.
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