Every year it shows up under the guise of a Christmas card. I open it to enjoy the card within and out it drops – the pompous Christmas letter.
You know the one – the letter that goes on and on about all the Wonderful, Amazing, Aren’t we cute, newsy letter about all the accomplishments the “family” accomplished in one human year.
The trips, the awards, the marriages, the babies, the usual whoop-de-does that are really wonderful accomplishments, but that we already heard about on Facebook, through phone calls, and the usual family grapevine. We already ooohed and aaahed over it. We smiled. We congratulated. We paid homage.
Why must we be reminded of it all again?
I scan the letter to make sure I didn’t miss something, but also, I look for typos. I read between the lines. I wonder if the uninformed know the real story behind the stories printed there in 12-point font, Times New Roman.
What no mention of the DUI? The six weeks’ scholastic probation? The past-due notice on the new car? What about the little skeleton in the closet no one talks about but everyone knows exists?
Now, that Christmas letter would be the one we would all look for each year.