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The Last Pair of SweatPants on Earth


          For fifty years of my life, for six, sometimes seven days a week, I wore what my grandmother called “Sunday best.”  I dressed up daily, put on makeup, fixed and sprayed my hair.  I wore heels.  And then I retired.
          Except for church on Sunday, I no longer needed to put on makeup daily.  I stopped fixing my hair and only ran my fingers through my short do.  I wore flip flops and house shoes, but every three or four days, I ran out of things to wear. I needed more play clothes in my rotation.
          Before I went shopping, I assessed what I had available and found a box of hand-me-downs my sons had given me when they moved away. It was full of extra-large tee-shirts and a stack of men’s, large, gray sweatpants.
          Up to then, I had ignored my weight gain; my dress slacks cut into my middle and I sometimes wore them without buttoning or hooking the waist.  I bought the larger dresses that take up the back half of the dress rack in stores.
          The moment I tried on my first sweat pant, they became my wardrobe staple. I wore them everywhere, every time, and I even considered pairing them with a nice top and knee high boots and wear them to church.
          By the second year, they started to show wear and I considered buying more, but it was time to face the truth.  I needed to work off the weight.  I joined a gym and replaced the sweat pants with yoga pants.  Yoga pants are what the Walmart Mom wears to Target. I wanted to recover some of my former dignity and worked on my weight and health.  I upped the ratio of yoga pants to sweat pants, and I did wear them to church on several occasions.  

          This year I lost over 30 lbs and downed my pant size to three times smaller than before. It was time to go through my wardrobe and give away a few items before I bought more. I kept a few good pairs of yoga pants, but there at the bottom of the drawer was a pair of sweat pants.  I measured them against my body. They fit, but then I walked over to the donation bag and stuffed them in among the rest of the clothes I no longer wanted.
         I am considering leggings next.  

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