Several years ago, the
mother of a newborn was suddenly overcome by the responsibility of raising a
child, and she asked me how to go about it.
First off, I told her she
was a good person and she would be a good mother, but a good compass is to
think forward and decide what kind of grownup she wanted her baby to be one day.
If she wanted her child to
be a kind adult, then train the child to be kind. If she wanted her child to be intelligent,
then teach the child to read and learn and be curious. If she wanted her child to be polite, then
teach the child manners.
All of these traits have
to be taught through example as well.
If she wanted her child
to believe in God, then she had to go and take the child to church. She had to
show and live a Godly life. If she wanted
her child not to use vulgar language or watch objectionable shows, then the
mother could not prohibit the child and then use that language and watch those
shows herself.
It’s the same with eating
broccoli or learning to like the ends of a loaf of bread, exercising and learning how to say
the Pledge of Allegiance. Respect goes both
ways; what is respectful for the parent is respectful for the child. A parent
cannot say one thing and then do the opposite.
I did warn her that each
child is born with their own personality, and there might be contradictory
natures, especially when the child hits the stinky teenaged years, but if the
parent starts with the first diaper change, she might have a fighting chance of
leading the child in the right direction. Never forget, you are the parent and
the child expects you to parent.
I asked her if this was
helpful, and she nodded, a smile on her face. She asked me how I got to be so
wise. I tried to teach my three to be truthful, so I had to be truthful to this
young mom – trial and error. Mostly
trial and a little error.
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