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Showing posts from August, 2012


  For years I raced top speed uphill with a full load on my back.   Some days I careened downhill with no brakes or power steering. And I did it gladly. I liked my job and I relished the responsibility. Demands and obligations ruled my sleep, my diet, and my personal life.   Alarm clocks, deadlines, and pressure sucked away at my health and my humanity.   I didn’t need a doctor, a therapist, or a psychiatrist to hand me a diagnosis.   I gained weight.   I suffered anxiety attacks.   I spent the little precious time I’ve been allotted in this world with people who only wanted what I could do for them. I stopped enjoying my profession. I had given all I could. I wanted something in return for a change. I worked top speed until the end, honoring my responsibilities.   I held the line until I handed it to my replacement. I looked out for the very people who would not remember who I was after I was gone.   Then I walked away and refused to look back. I kept my old li


One of my children adamantly states there is no God.   When a person dies there is no afterlife.   The person just ceases to exist. Nothing I say or do can change his mind, but then nothing he says or does changes mine.   The basic difference between us is “belief.” I see a flower and I believe that something greater than “chance” created such complexity.   I hold a baby in my arms and attribute that miracle to more than evolutionary ontology. I’ve seen ugly in my life, so I know evil exists.   If so, then why can’t good also be a palpable existence among us? Because I need hope in my life, I choose to believe.   When reality hits me square on the head, I need the salve of hope to heal and keep on going.   I may not understand sadness or the ugly around me, but I do understand goodness.   I've seen it - a  better day always waits ahead. I refuse to believe that I won’t smile again or love again.   No one can convince me that I was better off not knowing or lovi

Losing a Child

I lost a grandson a few weeks ago.   His death was caused by a freak household accident that claimed his life within hours.   No one had time to do more than react and pray for the best. For once in my life I had no words of wisdom for my daughter, no remedy or solution that would make everything better.   I stood by while she heard the words no parent ever wants to hear – her child, her baby, was not responding to everything the trauma medical team was   frantically trying.   Her twenty-two-month-old child was dying. One moment her fearless little boy was bombing around the house playing and climbing on furniture, the next he was injured and quiet. What should have been a boo-boo made better with mommy kisses, ended up a fatality. I try not to relive the horror of that night, but I struggle to sleep.   I wait until my eyes close from exhaustion and I wake a few hours later with a start.   Sadness and fear chase me in my dreams. I do not dare imagine what goes through m
  THE BLOG on BLOGGING: ELEMENTARY, MY DEAR WATSON So, you’ve decided to blog.   Let us ponder your options. OPEN THE POD DOORS, HAL Why do you want to blog?   What do you have to say or share that isn’t already being said or shared by the other 200 million bloggers out there? Who is your audience? Is it a family-and-friends-only journal or a me-only diary? Maybe it’s an advertisement for a product/creation/business, and you wish to attract awareness/admirers/customers? Is it an exercise in creativity and you are searching for an audience or an outlet for your opus? It is crucial you decide this before you blog. I HAVE ALWAYS DEPENDED ON THE KINDNESS OF STRANGERS Study other blogs and glean information that will help you decide how to best set up your site and its operation. See what works and doesn’t for your purposes.   Come up with a quirk or innovation that will make it different from the many others.   If what you envision is beyond your technical s