True! – guilty —very, very guilty I am, but it was unintentional. The act has made me aware of what I have done. I know everything there is to know about heaven and hell, so I always intended to return the object, so – hearken! – and observe as I calmly tell you the whole story of how I came to steal the red dish towel from the church fellowship hall. It is impossible to say when the idea first entered my brain; but once conceived, I made up my mind. I had no choice. I had to take it and thus mop up the serving table of the mess I had caused. You fancy me a thief, but thieves do not intend to return the objects they purloin. Stealing the dish towel was unintentional. Object there is none. I own dozens of dish towels of my own. Passion there is none. I hold no grudge or malice toward its owner. I think it was the spill! The pooling spill that made me reach for the towel. I had tried a handful of paper napkins but they were useless in my efforts to stay the spreadi