Raquel Martina Martinez

I grew up in a culture where the only time a person is permitted to be naked is at birth, in the bath, and in the privacy of your bedroom; at all other times, a person should be fully clothed. We settled this in the Garden of Eden: we wear clothes; angels wear robes. So someone explain to me this rash of successful new TV shows where everyone romps around au naturelle?  I’m talking about the shows on the regular stations, not the ones that take a special subscription and carry an x-rating. Naked and Afraid is not about internal conflict.  It’s folks out in the wilderness trying to survive in the altogether.  I live in the wilderness.  We country folk would never dare to venture out among the biting insects and poison ivy without covering as much skin as possible.  We know better than to encounter a skunk, chiggers, or a rattler wearing only our bifocals. Dating Naked is another such show. In my day, dating was an opportunity to spend quality time with a person we liked and w

My grandmother gave me the best advice when I was young.   She said one should live life with no regrets.   If I should mess up, I should forgive myself, forgive the offender, and move on. I agree. At the age of twenty-one, I had all these dreams:  I was going to get my PhD in Languages, move away from my home town, and travel the world.  There was no place for marriage or children.  Family would only hold me down. Then I got married two weeks before I turned twenty-three and my life took a totally different detour, several actually.  I never got my PhD, never moved any further than an hour from where I grew up, and my travels have been limited to the contiguous United States, a couple of hours into the “interior” of Mexico, and a nineteen day trip into China to meet a handful of in-laws. Not exactly worthy of one single “Yeeha,” but I have no regrets. If I were to go back in time and be able to talk to my younger, twenty-one-year-old self, this is what I would say: 1.    

In Celebration of John and Bianca Hulsey’s Wedding September 13, 2014 Most of us say we believe in happy ever afters, but happy ever afters exist only in fairy tales and fairy tales are fiction. I prefer to believe in true love. True love is more than just attraction and intimacy.  It is affection and tenderness and kindness. It is holding hands and sharing smiles. True love is unselfish.  It is consideration and caring for the other person more than about yourself.  True love puts the other person’s needs first. True love in not a fifty/fifty proposition; it is both parties giving and doing 100% for the other. It is laughter and conversation because true love cannot exist for long without truly liking each other as well.   It is respect and trust, and it allows for vulnerability. It is confidence and assurance that the other person would never hurt you.  In fact, true love goes to great measure to guard each other from any harm. It is about loving one another when w

One of the saddest things I saw once was a whole family out to dinner, and both the parents and the two children did not say one word to each other during the whole meal.   All four were on their phones, texting or playing games.   A toddler in a high chair looked at her family, probably wishing she had a cell phone too.   This scene has replicated itself many times over.  Just this past weekend, HoneyBunch and I went out to dinner and the couple next to us spoke more to the waitress than they did to each other.  Neither took their noses out of their phones long enough to make sure they knew the other person. Cell phones are handy little gadgets and I cannot leave the house without mine.  It is as important as my wallet and my car keys and I carry it in my purse, but once I am home I set it down where I can see it or hear it in case someone calls but I am not anchored to it. My kids get upset with me if I do not answer my cell phone right away, but I tell them that I am not leas

1.     Do it! 2.    Do it now! 3.    Do it right away! No need to thank me; just marry the person you love, the person who makes you feel the most alive, the person who makes you a better you.