You wake up in the morning and the day laughs at your pain. It is sunny and bright, cheerful and promising; everything opposite of how you feel. You count the days in minutes. First a few seconds separate you from the person you loved, then the seconds melt into minutes and hurry into hours. The minutes become days, weeks, and months. You reach into a drawer, a closet, a cabinet and find you didn’t get rid of everything as well as you thought. Memories hide in the most unsuspecting and unforgiving places. You hear a voice and you turn, a smile on your face, ready to answer, forgetting for one second that it is not him or her. You think of a question, hear a joke, remember a story and you reach for the phone before you realize no one will answer at the other end. A couple holds hands, a baby cries, you overhear a conversation, and you pray no one saw the naked look on your face before you walked away. If you could do it over, you would be more careful, more obedi